I had to write about imposter syndrome and how I’ve suddenly developed it about my blog. Nowadays, my illness, bipolar, is constantly rearing its head and giving me self-doubts as of late as to whether I am capable of writing or if I have anything worth saying.
I have somehow created this blog based on my experience, and today I have been flustered because I feel like an imposter.
Over the last few days, there has been a lot on tv and other peoples websites and social media about mental health and illness. And now I feel inferior, as I’m not an advocate of any sorts, just a woman approaching 50 who happens to have mental health issues.
So out of nowhere, imposter syndrome has raised its head. I feel as though my words are empty, and everyone will see that I am not capable or think I do not have an illness. But this is preposterous; my other side is telling me. You can write, and you are diagnosed with bipolar what other qualifications do you need to do what you are doing.
It might be because I am not eloquent with my words when speaking, and all I can achieve in daily life is the bare minimum. I’m just an average person with bipolar. The majority of my days are pretty low affairs, and on the days I feel good, I will venture onto social media.
But my whole blog is based on living well with mental health; how can I be giving life lessons when I feel like an imposter.
I have to deal with facts because I cannot trust my brain; it will feed me the wrong information and send my mind into overdrive. This is what is happening now as I write this.
I thought I would take you through my thought process and how I deal with untruthful thoughts when they appear in my mind.
I deal with the facts of the matter.
My brain is telling me I am useless, and I cannot do anything worthwhile, and other people have covered all the areas I’m writing about, and there is nothing new I can bring to the table.
However, I know my brain, and I know it is tired as I haven’t slept, which means my emotions are erratic.
My brain has even been telling me to delete the blog, but I won’t act on this because I know impulsive decisions like this will not be conducive to my overall health in the long run. I need my website; it is where my creativity exists.
There are certain buttons, my brain will try to press to get me to react. And, you might be thinking, but Lou, you are your brain! In other articles, I have mentioned the brain as a frog who sits there watching me watching it. It is how I deal with mental health.
All the negativity my brain or frog pushes in my direction, the more I suspect an ulterior motive. You see, my brain is faulty and anyone else with mental health issues knows a defective brain can not be trusted. It will try and get you to do things or act on something you know you shouldn’t.
In my case, it is trying to making me feel like an imposter and delete my website. However, what it is not revealing is that I have won competitions for my writing; I have been in numerous therapy classes. I have dealt with mental health for over 20 years, so I am fully experienced in these matters.
Imposter Syndrome – Internal Untruths
I have to dig deep into my mind to remind myself of these things. I’ve sat with a Prime Minister and talked about mental health, and my brain is trying to sway my plans by telling me I am not experienced enough or good enough.
When dealing with the feelings of being an imposter, you have to deal in facts; the facts do not lie, and if you experience the same as I do. You may feel as though you are not capable of doing what you are doing. Stop and reassess the situation from an outsider’s perspective.
You are capable; otherwise, you would not have begun and planned the project or job, or whatever it is that is making you feel like an imposter.
In the end, I know I am strong enough to deal with the quirks of my mind only because I have learned the truth outweighs the lies of my brain.
In a longwinded way, what I am trying to say is that it is natural to doubt yourself. And your brain will play tricks on you, but if you deal with the facts of the matter, you will see that you are capable and qualified to be doing what you are doing. Please don’t compare yourself to other people because you are the only one who can see it from your perspective.
My thoughts go through this process every time I get negative patterns from my brain. I hope in some way my thought process has helped you; I know, for one, it has helped me to write it down and share it.
Peace & Blessings x